Reckless
by QueenOfBabble
Summary: She falls to the floor, her back against the wall for support. This cannot be happening!
1. Reckless

Reckless

She stares at her skin. It doesn't look any different. Then why does it feel different? Why does it feel like things are crawling up her arms, itching and biting and ripping and stabbing? Why does she want to tear all of her flesh off?

Oh, right. She feels disgusting. She's _scrubscrubscrubbed_ her skin until it was red and raw, but she doesn't feel clean. She's impure, and she knows it. She doesn't know why it's true. She can't remember anything right now. It's just true.

And now the things are on her face. She can feel them crawling. She scratches furiously. They won't go away. Her skin tingles – bad, not good. Why won't these damn things leave her alone? They've reached her hair. She shudders. This is terrifying. What are they? Why can't she see them, feel them, get rid of them?

It's all his fault! He left, and they came! He probably brought them on purpose! That asshole! _Whywhywhy?_

She stops in her tracks, on the way to another attempt to _scrubscrubscrub_ the nasty things off. Why was he even here? She's not fond of him, and she's pretty sure he's not fond of her. They're always at each other's throats. Everyone knows they can't stand each other. So, again, why was he here?

He's her favorite cousin's boyfriend. That's the only reason she's ever near him, because she wants to hang out with her best friend. Even then they won't stop fighting. They really can't stand each other _at all_. God damnit! What the fuck was he doing here?

Last night comes back in flashes. It was Saturday…no, Friday…no, Sunday? No, definitely Friday. She was at her favorite bar. Her workweek had seemed _much_ longer than normal, so she'd decided that a couple of drinks were in order. And, of course, she'd gotten smashed. She was pretty certain she'd danced with quite a few guys. She may have even given one…five?…her number. Except she didn't really have a number, so it didn't matter.

And then…she'd gotten bored. It was inevitable. It happened every night. It was routine. She'd chosen a guy to take home with her. There'd been no shortage of options, as per usual. She was most often the hottest girl at the bar. Most of the patrons would probably give their right arm for one night with her. It wasn't vanity. It was a fact. A carefully-studied, repeatedly-tested fact.

_Crap_.She remembers now. _Oh crap. Holy fucking shit!_ This is _notnotnot_ good _at all_. _Fucking hell!_ She's so dead. _Sosososoincredibly_ dead.

She slept with him. The biggest crime a girl could commit, either in relation to her family or her friends. She slept with her best friend/cousin's boyfriend. _IamsoFUCKED!_

* * *

_BASTARD!_ She leans over the toilet, and what remains of her breakfast falls in. She collapses to her knees, staring at it in disbelief. _Nonono!_ What is she going to do? She gropes around on the counter. Her fingers wrap around a hard piece of plastic, and she slowly brings it to her eye level. Well…?

…_double fuck._ She falls to the floor, her back against the wall for support. This _cannot _be happening! _ShitshitshitSHIT!_ She bangs her head against the wall, hard. Her hands are fisted in her own hair. She's going to rip all of it out if she's not careful. Tears roll fast from her bloodshot eyes.

_FuckfuckFUCK!_ Her body racks with sobs. _Whymewhymewhyme?_ She can't deny it any longer. She's pregnant. With her best friend/cousin's _now_ fiancé's child. Who she _hates_ with a burning passion, even more so now. _FUCK!_


	2. Part 2

**For DirtyLittleGleek, who asked for just a bit more.**

* * *

Reckless: Part 2

She takes a deep breath. She's not sure what's going to happen. She may just lose her best friend. Might lose her family. Lose everything that she's ever cared about. One _stupid_ mistake might make her suffer like nothing else.

And, to top it all off, her skin's crawling again. She scratches, scowling. Today's fucked. Is she sure she want to do this today? No, she's not. But this is how it's going to be every time that she tries, so it's better to get it all over with.

Knocks on the door tentatively. Her best friend/cousin opens the door, smiling _carefreeasyouplease_. Invites her in, doesn't even notice her scowl until they're perched awkwardly on separate couches in the living room. He's not here, she's noticed. Here goes nothing.

* * *

Tears crawl fierce paths down her cheeks. The air bites with chilled teeth. She watches as the doors slammed in her face. _Wellthatwentwell._ Not even sarcasm is helping.

She's just lost her family, she knows it. She helped kill one of the best relationships that she's ever seen. And for what? A one-night stand that she _knows_ didn't mean anything to either of them?

Sobs sound from inside. Great, she made her best friend – her cousin that's basically her sister – cry. Feels horrible. She doesn't even _like_ him, so why the hell did she sleep with him?

At least…she doesn't think she likes him. She doesn't like him. Right? Of course not! That's…absurd? Or is it? Now she's confused. She's known him, what? Twenty-something years now? And she's always hated him. So why would she even consider liking him?

Her thoughts are blurring together. All she knows is that she's pregnant with a bastard child, and she's probably going to be disowned. Why is she so reckless?


End file.
